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As you may have gathered from Henry’s glowing review (opens in new tab), Resident Evil Revelations is a bit brilliant. High production values, gorgeous visuals and a latter half that consistently feels like the pulse-quickening last five minutes of most games. But there’s one ridiculous ingredient in the mix that we can’t let slip by unchecked. What the HELL is going on with Chris’ new partner Jessica?
She’s got a sexy leg. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say. Normally, a girl would have two sexy legs or perhaps two legs that aren’t so sexy (for instance if they were infected with a zombie virus and therefore covered in open sores). But Jessica appears to have deliberately cut one leg out of her already skin-tight wetsuit, leaving her with a very sophisticated ‘sub-aquatic trashy hooker’ look. As if to say ‘hey… look at my sexy leg’.
Above: There’s no point holding your arm there to hide the ludicrous high cut. What are you doing, woman?
It’s not like it’s standard issue or regulation sexy leg, either. Fellow BSAA member Jill Valentine is rocking a similar tight outfit, but instead of taking scissors to it, she’s merely undone her zip a little. Modestly sexy, our Jill.
Above: See how it’s done? Jill’s cutting a neat silhouette, but she’s still combat-ready
Modesty is not a word we would use when describing Jessica. So when she tells us to follow her (quote) “sweet ass”, to be honest, we’re not sure we want to. And even when she’s not flirting with Chris in a so-desperate-it-hurts fashion, it’s impossible to take her seriously.
Above: Honestly, it’s a massive distraction and we can’t believe she isn’t freezing
Ah well, at least the rest of Revelations is brill. Did I mention that? If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.
